Nobody takes Halloween more seriously than you. In fact, you start prepping in mid-July, just to make sure your shipments come in on time. When October 1st comes along, everyone else is off cuddling with loved ones to ABC Family (or Freeform as they rebranded it) re-runs of Hocus Pocus. That’s not real Halloween spirit.
Real Halloween spirit is getting the be-jeezus scared out of you.
And that’s the spirit you try to bring each year.
It’s your obligation to teach the neighborhood how it’s done. Forget the orange-and-black lights and lighted jack-o-lanterns with various cartoon faces. SpongeBob is not scary. You turn your front-yard into a never-ending nightmare.
Your community doesn’t appreciate it, though. After all, there was that one time you re-created a zombie-maze from The Walking Dead. Anyone wanting candy had to endure deathly moans, body parts, and confusing twists and turns as hired actors chased after them. And the cherry on top? When someone did reach the end, they were greeted by you. But as you handed out candy, a zombie came from behind, ripping off a piece of your throat as fake blood gushed out.
What a beautiful moment…to you, at least. The neighbors sent you a bill for their son’s therapy sessions, but it was totally worth it. Back in the day, there was nothing more fun than fearing for your life! You will always remember the time your dad chased you around the house in a Scream mask as you screamed bloody murder. At least you think it was your dad; he never did bring it up. That’s beside the point.
You remember the first haunted house you set up at your place, including your maze straight from The Shining. It was perfect. You paid your nieces and nephews to scare all those who entered. You remember seeing grown men cry as little Timmy chased them on his bike, only to run into his sisters (who happened to look the same). Then bam, you swung an ax through your door. What a proud moment!
But, this year, you had to listen to the police department’s demands of “toning it down” and it was back to the drawing board. The problem is that you have mountains of decorations and sets. What can you do with all your marvelous pieces if you’re not going to use them?
At StorBox, we appreciate your creepy gear, and we have room for all of it. With climate-controlled rooms and a wide array of unit sizes, you can store sets until next year…when the new crop of trick-or-treaters foolishly ventures into your neighborhood. Call (626) 407-3439 for more details.