Aren’t you glad STORBOX can act as an extension of your closet for clothes you don’t need every day? That caftan you incidentally spotted in your storage unit really brought you back. You remember when you were given that caftan. It was placed in your hands along with the promise of a better world, so long as you would give up everything you have ever loved. Fair trade! Also, good times! You just had to re-watch Wild, Wild Country to reminisce.
You miss being shacked up with others sharing the same cause, even though you were packed like sardines. There was so much sweat, the place kind of smelled like sardines…Cold air, of course, was “another worldly obsession.” But you guys were all as one, and it was so beautiful to have close friends like that!
Of course, it eventually got shut down thanks to people who wanted to “protect your safety.” But to you, they stopped the party. And now you’re itching to join another one. What will it be this time?
You could try Hare Krishna, er, the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. You’ve always like singing songs anyway, and now you can do it with friends! And it’s the same lyrics over and over again, so it’s not like you have a lot to memorize. You’ve given up your worldly possessions before, you could do it again, no problem. You can easily find a guru! You’ve heard about some immoral practices, but you can turn a blind eye.
Then there’s the Ramtha School of Enlightenment. Worshipping a spiritual being that no one has ever heard of? Easy! In 6th grade, you pretended to have a boyfriend that lived in Alaska, so this is no sweat. All you have to do is get educated on this new one, true, higher being. That’ll be easy when you have a brand new set of people to hang out with.
In fact…why not start your own cult, and force everyone to be your friend? You have enough experience, and you have enough garments to make your own uniforms. All those mandatory robes and clothes are tucked away in your STORBOX unit. With month-to-month rental agreements and a spacious unit, you would have been a fool not to store your stuff there.
Just make sure your new cult calls STORBOX at (626) 407-3439 for details about their own storage needs!