Coming off one of the greatest NBA playoff performances of all time, after bringing a title to the championship-starved city of Toronto, Kawhi Leonard has made his free agency decision. After being courted by some of the biggest and best NBA franchises, ‘The Klaw’ is headed to the Los Angeles Clippers on a three-year, $103 million deal. But the money and the chance to play in the City of Angels are not the true reasons Kawhi is heading to Southern California. The real reason… is you.
You have been admiring Kawhi’s game from afar since his days at San Diego State. From the first moment you saw him step on the court, you knew he was the man of your dreams. His leadership qualities and desire to win were apparent to you even when he was a freshman in college. Before he played a single second in the NBA, you knew that one day, he would be a champion—because he was already the champion of your heart.
You scoffed when he declared for the NBA draft and the scouts said the strongest part of his game was his defense. Only someone who loves Kawhi like you knows that the strongest part of his game is his heart-melting grin, and his massive, manly hands. If he were to pick you up with those hands, he would never drop you… ever. If anything, he would smoothly and gracefully drive to the net and lovingly play you off the backboard, and into the net.
You told anyone who would listen that he would be named MVP of the NBA finals when he went to win his first NBA title with San Antonio. And everyone acted shocked when he almost single-handedly led the Raptors to a championship, but not you. He solidified his legacy as one of the greats of the game, and you knew it was time to make your move.
Your countless letters, DMs, and passionate screams at the TV have not been in vain. You and only you know the true reason Kawhi Leonard has signed with the Clippers. It is because he has finally accepted your marriage proposal. He signed with the Clippers to come play in your hometown to make the transition easier for you both, obviously! Yes; anything is indeed possible, and dreams do come true. It is only a matter of time before he chimes your doorbell, and you find his massive figure on your front step with a bouquet of flowers and an engagement ring, laughing that beautiful monotone laugh.
Honestly, you would be crazy not to start getting ready for your eventual move to his new Los Angeles residence this very second. Good thing you have a StorBox unit where you can store all your belongings when the MVP of your dreams comes to sweep you off your feet. He’s probably going to use some of his signing bonus to buy you a bunch of new stuff anyway.
Kawhi Leonard is here to rule over Clipper Nation with an iron fist, and you shall be the loyal spouse at his side. As you watch your dreamboat husband breaking ankles on the court, you can rest easy knowing all your stuff is safe and sound in a StorBox unit.