“It is said that the Hornburg has never fallen to assault; but now my heart is doubtful. The world changes, and all that once was strong now proves unsure. How shall any tower withstand such numbers and such reckless hate?”- Théoden, King of Rohan.
As undisputed ruler of your lands, you have a responsibility to your subjects to defend them in times of strife. Through most of your reign, peace and prosperity have covered the land. Your garage was a safe haven not only for yourself, but for all of your precious tools and knickknacks your wife would not allow in the house.
But it seems that long-standing peace with the white queen in the tower has come to a ruinous end. She has allied herself with a grim foe you thought was vanquished long ago… her friend from college whom she recently reconnected with, the dark lord Kathy.
Thinking that your enemy had been banished to the pit from whence she came was foolish. When Kathy moved back to her now-ex-husband’s hometown, far away from you both, you thought the horrible influence she had on you and your wife’s alliance would leave with her. It did for a time, but you should have known this day would come. The contentment and your wife’s excellent cooking made you soft.
You will never forget the day you were in your garage, drinking beer with your friends and admiring your new table-saw, when your wife walked into your kingdom and informed you that fell deeds were on the horizon.
“Hey Hun; Kathy’s divorce has been finalized. She’s pretty beat-up about it. But she got a condo close by and is moving back into town in a few weeks. I was thinking we could throw her a welcome-back party…”
You gave a slow fearful nod, stoically holding back your cries of dread and horror. Your buddy Chuck spit out a mouthful of beer and went into a fit of choking coughs…. He knew this would mean blood.
The day of the party arrived. When you witnessed Her Dark Majesty arrive astride her cherry-red Mustang, and saw the way your wife latched onto her like a barnacle, you knew it was only a matter of time before an attack would be made upon your lands. Kathy is heartless, and she styles herself as an amateur interior designer.
When she made that scrunched-up face when walking by your garage, you knew the Dark One had turned her eye to the realms of men.
When you saw your wife had signed up for subscriptions of Architectural Digest and Interior Design Magazine, and Kathy had shared an article on Facebook about the best garage-to-guest-house conversions, you knew war was finally upon you.
Contracts were signed. Something like an Uruk-hai contractor descended on your mancave. Kathy thought she got one over on you; she thought she had won… but the hearts of men do not cave into darkness easily, and though the garage is in the process of being turned into a guest bedroom with lots of sun, you and your things have one last place to hold up and stand your ground.
You have your Helm’s Deep…. You have your StorBox unit. For generations, the realms of men have used StorBox as a safe haven from those who would stamp out freedom and take the world for themselves. Since 2001, StorBox has been providing safe harbor to our people, and it has never fallen to an enemy. Siege after siege, StorBox remains standing.
StorBox has units to fit any need, and they are climate controlled. The dark lord Kathy believes this war to be over, but with your kingdom safe behind the walls of your fortress, you live to fight another day.