There you were—sitting on the couch, elbow-deep into your second bag of microwave popcorn. After a weekend of watching A Star is Born twice a day, you were all out of money, looking for a new place to drown your sorrows. As you scanned each channel on your TV, you were struck by a luminous glow of yellow and orange. And now, you know the truth.
The end is near! Why? Because the Discovery Channel said so. They’re never wrong and if they are… well, you don’t know. You watched in horror and slight excitement (you might want to book a therapy session about that) as stock video showed lava pummeling out of the earth’s surface. Then you heard the expert (whose name you don’t remember) say Yellowstone’s caldera is going to erupt any day now. Never mind that the special documentary first aired five years ago and is no longer accurate. It doesn’t matter who thinks you’re crazy—you know what you need to do.
It’s time to dust off that Costco card with the awful photo of you on the back and start stocking up on supplies for the apocalypse. You’re only going to need the essentials, so make sure you trek down the alcohol aisle first. Grab a few bottles of wine. Splurge on the good kind; it’s the end of the world as you know it. Also, grab multiple boxes of snacks and Hot Pockets… for nutrition, duh.
It’s essential to keep those items at home with you before the big day, just in case you want to sample the goods. But do you have room for the extra water coolers and battery-operated electronics you’ll need to buy?
Unfortunately, you’re not Christopher Walken in Blast from the Past. There’s no room in your budget for an underground bunker to store your belongings. Even if you had the money, you couldn’t wrap a Christmas gift—how would you construct a fortress?
Have no fear, doomsday prepper, StorBox is here to help! With a variety of unit sizes and a Wine Grotto, you can rest assured your preventative measures and non-food supplies will be kept safe and sound. And hey, if that day never comes, you can still come by to pick your stuff up seven days a week. Check storbox.com for pricing or call (626) 407-3439.