October is a special month; one of haunted houses, horrifying mazes, spooks, scares and, of course, more sugar than you have in any other month combined. It’s also the first full month of fall and there may be some nice autumn foliage, but that’s not really important. Halloween is the most important thing that happens in October and we need to do it justice.
So, in keeping with the spookiness of the month, what would happen if some of the most heinous horror villains of all time had a self-storage unit? What would they put there? Or, more importantly, what would we find if they stopped paying rent and the contents of the storage unit had to be auctioned off?
It seems fitting to start off with one of the most twisted creatures of all horror films: Freddy Krueger. That burned child killer, whose vengeful and, let’s just say it, psycho spirit invaded teenagers’ and children’s dreams to, well, kill them horribly. At some point the fear of and belief in him got tied to his power… possibly…but it’s tough to be sure considering how many movies there were; however, we’ll just go with it. So, without further ado, here is what we’d find (as determined by a very secretive research process) if Freddy Krueger got behind with his self-storage bills:
- Boxes of dark green and red striped sweaters (he needs extras for when the blood stains stop being intimidating and just make the sweater look dirty)
- Laundry stain remover (which he used to try to get rid of the blood stains at first)
- Left-glove with razor claws (this was found under a pile of dirty sweaters…no wonder he never wore the left)
- Cases of sleeping pills and sedatives (guess he needed to get those kids asleep himself sometimes)
- Cases of burn cream (doesn’t seem like these helped at all)
- A record player and a stack of Barbra Streisand albums (no comment)
- A box of head shots and other promotional materials (doesn’t he know vanity is one of the seven deadly sins?)
- A box of signed copies of his autobiography, with a complimentary sleeping pill on the inside cover (box is full, doesn’t look like bookstores were clamoring for these)
- Life-size cardboard cut-outs of himself along one wall on the inside
- A book of lullabies
Well, so Freddy Krueger was a psychotic, marketing-savvy narcissist that’s into Barbara Streisand. He may even be a bit of a germaphobe (what serial killer cares about blood stains??). Too bad he couldn’t keep up with his self-storage rent. Maybe self-storage really wasn’t for him.
If You Think Self-Storage Has the Answers for You…
…STORBOX Self-Storage in Pasadena can help! We not only have a variety of storage sizes and unit types, but we are offering your first month’s rent for the very affordable price of $1! If Freddy Krueger’s self-storage facility had such a good deal, maybe he wouldn’t have fallen behind in rent.
To find out if we have what you need, call us today at (626) 793-9888. Our professional and friendly staff is ready to answer all of your questions. (No, we don’t actually have Freddy Krueger’s storage unit… the guy is a fictional character people!).