Summer was never quite the same after you graduated high school. Long days of sleeping until 12 p.m., eating all the junk food from the cupboards, scouring the Internet for funny videos while checking your MySpace messages…you miss those days. Now, it’s a little bit different. You have your own bundles of joy to monitor. Plus, you have that pesky 9 to 5. You’d hate it so much if it wasn’t providing a roof over your head and food on the table…barely.
Being a “functioning adult” and “parent,” your summers have changed drastically. Your boss reminded you that you still had a bunch of vacation hours you never used. And your kids had been bugging you since April about what exactly was the summer plan. After endless bickering, and you breaking the coffee machine at work and blaming it on the mail guy, you figured it was the perfect time to get out for a while.
But boy was that the wrong decision.
Your family embarked on the Great American Road Trip. You decided to take the scenic route, with no destination in mind. It doesn’t matter how fast you get there and it doesn’t matter what’s on the other side. It’s the climb, right? Would a Hannah Montana song lie to you? You thought not.
So, you bought an RV. It only cost almost all your savings. But hey, your kids were happy and you were going to be a cool parent with an RV. Your friends would be jealous and would have to hear their own kids say you were 100% cooler. Fair trade.
But where was Ms. Montana and her groovy tunes when your family arrived at that sketchy diner? The chicken had pre-marked grill marks and they weren’t even parallel. Come to think of it, they were moving too. Just the thought of it makes you sick. Just like your daughter, who got the kids’ macaroni and cheese. She took one bite and spit out a bunch of cheddar dust. Did they really use box macaroni? And how did they even mess that up?
The ride after was even worse. Everyone felt sick to their stomachs. Those bumpy roads and that side chili-cheese fries did not work well together. The one truck stop you passed had a bunch of sketchy men, so you kept going. Suffice to say, you stopped on the side of the road, and that’s a story you’ll never tell again.
Next year, you’ll know better. When your kids ask for summer plans, you’ll give them the Netflix password and free reign on Fortnite. As for the RV? You can store the big ol’ lug at StorBox. Open seven days a week, you could pick it up when you need (which might mean never at this point).