If Shonda Rhimes needs a new idea for a show, here’s the perfect idea: the sneaky sneakers stealing your precious vino. In households across the country, many hard-working, wine-drinking connoisseurs face the same mystery. It’s the moment you store a wine bottle in a cabinet or maybe a wine-rack, and find it’s just not the same when you take a swig later.
You pick up the bottle and feel that it’s a little lighter than it was at your last soirée. Could it be you drank a little the night before while watching The Bachelor? Possibly. But is it also possible that a sticky-fingered Somm snuck in for a little taste? Why not? The question remains: how did they get through Daenerys, your feisty and protective dog?
Maybe this Beaujolais burglary is at the hands of someone else…someone you know. Come to think of it, you’ve been home when several of your bottles magically lost ounces of their magical essences. Did the thieves drink them together? That’s terrible for their palette! You have to pair wisely for ultimate complementary bliss. It must be some inexperienced chum.
Never count out teenagers in the house—constantly wanting to rebel. Take a chill pill, Beth, and go journal while listening to Coldplay like the rest of us did! Stop robbing the Rieslings! That would explain why your teen looked he just learned to walk…right after exiting the kitchen late at night. Pesky teens…spooning down cinnamon, eating Tide Pods…and stealing wine!
You could try hiding the wine in other places, but you know they’ll just find it. Teens have incomparable senses when it comes to causing misfortune, especially when it involves sticking it to the man. It’s just not fun when you’re said man. You can’t hide it too well though, because then how will you find it on the nights you check your credit score?
If only there was a place to store your wine, without worrying about thievery. There is—STORBOX! Just a freeway ride away, STORBOX houses the innovative Wine Grotto. You can leave your wine in temperature-controlled units, built specifically to maintain the greatness of your decadent grape juice. With biometric finger-scanning, your teens won’t ever get in! You can drop by for a sippy-sip, so don’t worry.
Contact STORBOX at (626) 407-3439 for details. But while you wait, replace your secret stash with Night Train. That will teach those kids!